Revelation
No I'm not talking about the book of Revelation but rather a personal revelation I experienced today. As I was signing my lease for the new office I found out that my landlord is also a born again believer. After talking about numerous things for awhile she asked to pray for me and I readily agreed. She has a spiritual gift almost like that of a seer and I could feel it coming from her and I must tell you it was uncomfortable. Why? Because it revealed things about me that only I or God could have known. I won't get into everything as it's personal but she did say there is a whirlwind surrounding me, right around my head. I know from research that isn't good and I've felt like that for a few months now.
You see the shows I do deal with dark things. Dark spiritual matters, corrupt governments, evil in dark places and more. I don't wish that type of show or research on anyone but it was and is part of my calling. I've let my spiritual life slip lately and I'm paying for it now. I'm so tired of the arguing, the name calling the ANGER that has swelled up in me that I could scream. Everyday I see division in every aspect of our lives and it really gets old. I get upset when I see all of this and I throw my hands up and say "what will it take?" When are these people going to wake up? Then I realize that most people aren't going to wake up. I realize that what the Bible teaches about spiritual blindness is happening right in front of us right now!
At lunch time my wife and I discussed this and she's been feeling the same way for about a month. She sees it and feels it in me as well. After discussing this with my new sister in Christ WAIT was the word she got for me and I have been feeling the same way as well. Wait for what? Wait for the right people to cross my path for one. Wait for God to show me the next phase that I'm going into as the time of the watchman is over. I don't know what's next but I need to quit stressing about it. He's told me to wait before and with me not being a patient man I've always had trouble with that word lol. One thing I am going to do is shut down my show after this Sunday night. It's over. I will stay on as a guest host on a friends program once a week but other than that my "radio" career is over. I'm not going to fuss about it I'm just going to accept it and move forward. I know that has been one thing I've been stressing over and God has simply said "wait". So I guess I'll wait.
I also confessed my sins and was healed and absolved of them. My anger has gotten the better of me at times lately and I had to get rid of it which I did today. I didn't realize that I was holding way too much in and that is what's been making me slip up. I'm not perfect and I never claimed to be but that's no excuse for letting my emotions get the best of me. I know now what I need to change and what I need to keep and it's a liberating feeling! No yours truly hasn't gone nuts or anything like that, I have just been attacked hard spiritually and the problems have been resolved. I've gotten rid of old guilt that's held me down. I've gotten rid of any lingering anger towards any one or any thing. One thing this woman also told me is that she saw my "little boy" shattered at some point. In other words I stopped being happy and carefree. There was no abuse in my childhood so that wasn't it, it was the fact that I stopped being happy with ME. I wasn't forgiving myself and was beating myself up for things that happened years ago. Before all that took place I was happy and carefree letting go and letting God. I was reminded of that today in a huge way.
Thank you Jesus for saving me and bringing your prodigal son back home!
Johnny
